feel like- good

Avoir envie de,

I received a reply from someone I needed to give some help. Alhamdulillah. I don't know, call me sensitive and sentimental, I cried. I know that I needed help but I kept running away as if the problem would just dissolved by time. I feel thankful.

So, I should be grateful for what I was given because what I have is something that is for me, not for anyone else. Everyone was given different results but it was the best for them, by their own way. Now, I know that what I had as a result is good for me, it may not be good for someone else but it's good for me. belit tak?

But in the other way, I have to choose my path that He gave for me, not for someone else. I succeed my own way, and I could do better by time. I just really wanted to make my parents happy because eventually that would make me happier. They had helped me through everything and I don't want to leave them half way because this is not the the end, but to move forward. I'll keep trying ♥

"The more reasons you have to do something, the easier it gets in the future when you're facing something tough."-AH, thank you.

transition- after SPM

It's been 4 months after SPM 2015. A lot of changes happened in a short period of time. At first, it feels weird for not getting ready for school in the morning after subuh prayer. I remember the hectic, rush morning for not ironing my clothes at night before bed. Ugh. Before bed? I had tuition and I'd be home about 11 p.m. and I have homework that was due tomorrow, so, I didn't finish any of my homework. HAHA. After all, when I arrived at my class, I'll sit at my table and do my homework as fast as I can because as a prefect, (ashamed of not doing my homework) I have to do my morning duty. Whatever it is, homework never done. I'll just copy my friends'. HAHA guilt.

Some of my friends now have started working and happy because of money they'll get while I just cringe. I don't work. I want to, but I don't have transportation yet so, I am still in a progress of having my driving licence. YAY. But BOO that I don't have money.

Seriously, life after SPM sucks. Every school students' dream. I used to dream of the freedom of not doing my homework and I could drive anywhere I could go, travelling and such. Just one thing, money. And you'll be tired of not doing anything, depression.

I have books that I bought before SPM but I didn't touch it. I got sick by just looking at them. I could not read. I can't stand reading. But, last week, I, successfully finished Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die and I never be so happy of that victory of fighting laziness in me. YAY. And I seriously love that book. I had read The Alchemist from Paulo Coelho when I was 15, and it was great too. Sense of refreshment, thinking back about what I am going to do with my life. I want to have a better life so, I'll work for it. 

Friends from school. Ugh. They thought everything is going to be the same. No, my amigo. You have to move on. we're not going to meet everyday like we used to and it is fine. Relax, we are still friends. And, I am tired of reading tweets and Instagram caption of  "everything -now- is different, i -know -you -don't -need -me -anymore-can't- move- forward". Hey, even though everything has changed, you will always be classified as friends and everyone now have their own life. And you have your own life. Okay? anything, just Whatsapp me and don't complain about "everything -now- is different, i -know -you -don't -need -me -anymore-can't- move- forward".

Life is about moving forward and past is past, experience. Kalau tak, bila nak maju?

After that, UPU. Ugh. Pressure. I thought of architecture. But, there is side of me say "I don't know''. 

At first, I didn't want to go for Kolej Matrikilasi, but now, I think the college is like giving the second chance, and for those who doesn't know about what to further their studies. So, if I get the chance, I'll go and I'll fight my best, again. Pray for me.

So, I think that's it that I could share. There's nothing really.

"Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act."

CAT-NAPPERS ARE REAL

I just lost Nova this morning, bummer. After 3 days away from home to Kuantan and Kuala Lumpur, Bingo, Maya and Nova were still together and I never be so relieved. Last night at 11.30 p.m. something, I came to check them at the back of the kitchen, Nova was still there eating and drinking. She did not stop sneezing though and it was so cute of her. I woke up this morning, Ibu told me Nova is missing and I could not believe her so I checked the whole house probably she was hiding in the closet here I usually found her when we lost the kittens (and Bingo). I checked the house next door and EVERYWHERE, crying (embarrassment). Frustration. Where are you Nova?

Please don't take away someones' cats as our cats are actually apart of our family. How it feels like if someone took away your precious ones and they are not even someone to you? it's totally wholesome fucked up. CATNAPPERS ARE REAL DEAL.

Hope she's fine.