started with the first relationship which i had been betrayed, it did not upset me at all but was teaching myself again to be more cautious and grace to my soul. then, came the fragments of my first love came to my head. it did not made me weaken on my knees but feel alright. it just turned out i did not hate him anymore but still kind of hard to forgive. but i can forget. but i always hoping he is living the life he wanted to be and wanted him to be happy achieving what he always had dream of, making his mother proud and smiling.
i had lost a friend that i could never ever call her a friend but i felt glad she was over. she wanted this to be over. but still, i could not found the main reason she particularly hates me. she just never liked me. maybe she did not need a reason to it. but i was ready to let go. it was always been a budge and hanging from my shoulder. her negativity and hatred towards me is something i had believed from the first sight while others could not see them but now, they all know now. she basically pushing everyone out and i did analyze it was not any of our's fault. it was her decision so we have to let go. it always been better to let go rather than holding it. and i am happy to let it go.
under all these bullshit, letting them go and accept them just rewarded me peace and happiness. i feel connected to myself more, which is more important.
and the last thing i told myself that evening was i want these memories to remain untouched.
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