i lost it

There is something with time. I had looked myself as a child in the inside me and still learning and accepting the differences with people and changes around me. Different people have their own path, mind that life is not a race, is not about winning who have better life. It is about personal journey about your soul. Something deep inside of me still hurting and crying, I don't know what to do. It is tiring to hold everything in one place. Theoretically, if we put everything in one small room, the pressure would be increasing. Maybe it is just me who see the world differently than others and maybe I am more sentimental than others, admit that I am sensitive. People around me may see kindness as a weakness. To be honest, I am tired of keeping everything like it is okay.

I don't know but someone had asked me what is wrong with me. It hits me hard in the inside. You don't know about other people's inner war with themselves. Don't ever judge people. It is 2017, and people still can't accept diversity way of living. Mind that everyone have their own way, dreams, desire and problems. Maybe you would think that one person is struggling with something small matter to you but not for her. 

The world may change to cold. I can't blame nature as love comes with it too. It is just that there is still a bunch of people that don't understand about living. Honestly. they are cold. Friends hating each other, family forgetting each other, teachers with selfishness. It is about time. It somehow changes everything about our humanity. How can someone forgets on someone they could die for? How a heart could change for a moment? Time. The humanity and love dissolve with time. 

I would say I still don't believe in love as I am fully tired of being disappointed by these boys who just wants to play games. Thinking for few moments, it is not love's fault, right? There isn't love between those failed connections that had shattered me be drowning to the bottom of the ocean. I don't feel alone and need someone, I don't feel it and maybe some people thinks it is weird or I am slowly turning to be asexual but I just want to cut down some dramas in life, pure resistance from having a beautiful, meaningful life. I don't want to complicate me with difficult 'love'. Let's just let go and be out of the atmosphere. All by myself.

Diingatkan bahawa semakin meningkat usia, meningkat kefahaman perbezaan kehidupan manusia, sebaliknya diskriminasi antara satu sama lain. Al-fatihah.